so here's a thing, i am pretty sure i am not stupid. i have a degree and a masters and a whole host of other impressive qualifications. and yet sometimes i open my mouth and sheer inanity spills forth.
it's not that long ago that i presented my co-workers with what i proclaimed to be "the rolls-royce of staplers". let's just examine that sentence. it is pure bathos. a stapler is never going to be an expensive, luxury car. it's not going to improve your chances with the opposite sex, it's not going to make you look wealthy, a stapler is pretty much only going to be good for securing papers together.
let's face it, you've never seen julia roberts with a stapler (no matter how high-end it may be) at the oscars. in fact the only thing those staplers had in common with a rolls-royce seems to be that everybody wanted one. certainly they all went awol in less than a week.
and then today a co-worker made me a cup of tea, while another one brought around a packet of mini eggs. how did i react to this unexpected bounty? well first of all, i got flustered "oh, wow, it's all happening at once," as though cups of tea and mini eggs were uncanny and exotic largesse, rather than nice but fairly normal treats. and then i said what truly must be the most moronic words i have ever uttered (discounting my famous misspelling of my own, four letter name): "tea and chocolate eggs, it's like a holiday."
"it's like a holiday."
how? how on earth are tea and mini eggs anything like a holiday? they were very nice. but there was no sand, or sunshine, or bathing costumes, or sightseeing. in short, it was nothing like a holiday.
and my co-workers now think i have a head full of candyfloss.
if, as conservative leader david cameron claimed today, labour chancellor gordon brown is an "analogue politician in a digital age". then surely the tories are still in private alpha, and seriously buggy.
or is that too geeky? my brother suggested brown should have replied in binary.
i was just violently attacked by a fire door. it hit me in the face. my glasses are bent and i look like i've been in a ryan atwood style fight. this is why i should never have to leave the house before ten o'clock.
i need tea, but i've given up caffeine for lent. damn my passion for self-denial.
i was so tired last week that i thought i was going to fall asleep standing up on more than one occasion. i wake up stiff and sore in the mornings because i'm so exhausted that i've slept eight hours in the same position. having two jobs and a social life has begun to wear my down somewhat. it's nice to be employed. i think i might need a holiday at this point though.
not that i'm trying to find excuses for not posting. oh... no...wait... i am.
i've got some serious blogger's block going on here, i'm tempted to do the haitus thing, but actually i think that would be counter-productive. if i ever do get a holiday, then i'll definitely do a theme week though, if that's any consolation.
i just don't feel like i've got much to write about at the moment. i feel nostalgic, but i'm not sure what for - my muse maybe.
